Self Awareness

Recognize negative emotions as signals to transform to the positive
Chapter 4
p.3
Emotional Awareness consists of five basic building blocks:
Building block number 1: Self-Awareness
The keystone of Emotional Awareness is the ability to recognize a particular feeling as it occurs.
Developing self-awareness requires “tuning into your gut feelings” and a deliberate effort to become more aware of them.
Being able to recognize and identify a feeling, enables you to consciously deal with it, and to change it if necessary.
Emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental aspect of Emotional Awareness, namely, being able to shake off a bad mood.
A rude encounter often leaves me annoyed for hours. I usually hide my feelings and I would be surprised if someone were to comment on my state of mind. If I had consciously evaluated my feelings I could have become aware of how I felt deep down and how it offended me… Not doing it, is emotionally un-intelligent!”
Building block number 2: Mood Management
We often have little control over the emotions which sweep over us, but we can have some say in their duration.
Various techniques can be used to help us manage our moods, for instance:
”Rearming” – consciously re-interpreting a situation in a more positive light. Any situation can be viewed from a different perspective if we consciously try and look at it differently. It is usually possible to find a positive angle to any situation.
Even deep breathing and consciously deciding to go quiet within yourself for a few moments can alleviate anxiety, depression and anger.
Refer to The Glad Game and Association and Dissociation in this book which describe additional techniques that can be used to manage moods.
Building block number 3: Self-Motivation
To motivate yourself in order to achieve requires clear goals and an optimistic ‘can-do’ attitude.
Positive motivation – feelings of enthusiasm, zeal and confidence are paramount for achievement.
For a pessimist rejection often means “I’m a failure”. Optimists tell themselves “I’m using the wrong approach” and are thus motivated to try again.
Building block number 4: Impulse Control
The essence of emotional self-control is the ability to delay impulse gratification (in other words immediate satisfaction or short-term pleasure) in the service of a longer-term goal.
When faced with an immediate temptation of whatever nature, remind yourself of your long-term-goals.
Now sleeping late will never be the same again!
Building block number 5: People Skills
We transmit and receive moods from one another on a subtle, almost imperceptible level.
The better we are at discerning the feelings behind other people’s signals, the better we are at controlling the signals we send.
Remember, even the way someone says ‘Thank you’, can leave you feeling dismissed, patronized or genuinely appreciated.
I am now quite sure that many of the “difficult situations” I have encountered in my relations with colleagues and clients stem from a lack of emotional awareness on both sides.
What hints can you give me which I can practice and use to enhance my EQ?
EQ is a multi- faceted concept and your overall EQ is determined by a combination of factors which all play a role in your interaction with others, including colleagues and customers.
The diagram on the left shows you these different factors and dimensions. The diagram also provides guidelines on how to enhance your emotional awareness in each dimension.

Recognize negative emotions as signals to transform to the positive

Chapter 4 p.3

w&t_binoculars

I Explain

Emotional Awareness consists of five basic building blocks:

Building block number 1: Self-Awareness

  • The keystone of Emotional Awareness is the ability to recognize a particular feeling as it occurs.
  • Developing self-awareness requires “tuning into your gut feelings” and a deliberate effort to become more aware of them.
  • Being able to recognize and identify a feeling, enables you to consciously deal with it, and to change it if necessary.
  • Emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental aspect of Emotional Awareness, namely, being able to shake off a bad mood.
w&t_exclamation

I Answer

A rude encounter often leaves me annoyed for hours. I usually hide my feelings and I would be surprised if someone were to comment on my state of mind. If I had consciously evaluated my feelings I could have become aware of how I felt deep down and how it offended me… Not doing it, is emotionally un-intelligent!”

Building block number 2: Mood Management

w&t_binoculars

I Explain

We often have little control over the emotions which sweep over us, but we can have some say in their duration.

Various techniques can be used to help us manage our moods, for instance:

  • Rearming – consciously re-interpreting a situation in a more positive light. Any situation can be viewed from a different perspective if we consciously try and look at it differently. It is usually possible to find a positive angle to any situation.
  • Even deep breathing and consciously deciding to go quiet within yourself for a few moments can alleviate anxiety, depression and anger.
  • Refer to The Glad Game and Association and Dissociation in this book which describe additional techniques that can be used to manage moods.

Building block number 3: Self-Motivation

  • To motivate yourself in order to achieve requires clear goals and an optimistic ‘can-do’ attitude.
  • Positive motivation – feelings of enthusiasm, zeal and confidence are paramount for achievement.
w&t_exclamation

I Answer

For a pessimist rejection often means “I’m a failure”. Optimists tell themselves “I’m using the wrong approach” and are thus motivated to try again.

Building block number 4: Impulse Control

  • The essence of emotional self-control is the ability to delay impulse gratification (in other words immediate satisfaction or short-term pleasure) in the service of a longer-term goal.
  • When faced with an immediate temptation of whatever nature, remind yourself of your long-term-goals.
w&t_exclamation

I Answer

Now sleeping late will never be the same again!

Building block number 5: People Skills

  • We transmit and receive moods from one another on a subtle, almost imperceptible level.
  • The better we are at discerning the feelings behind other people’s signals, the better we are at controlling the signals we send.
w&t_elephant

I Advise

Remember, even the way someone says ‘Thank you’, can leave you feeling dismissed, patronized or genuinely appreciated.

More Tools

Conflict resolution

  • Knowing how to fight fair
  • Using the Win-Win model for negotiating compromise

Self-awareness

  • Observing yourself and recognizing your feelings
  • Understanding relationship between thoughts, feelings and reactions

Managing feelings

  • Monitoring ‘self-talk’ to catch negative messages such as internal put-downs
  • Realizing what is behind a feeling
  • Finding ways to handle fears, anxieties, anger and sadness

Handling Stress

  • Learning the value of exercise, guided imagery, relaxation methods

Empathy

  • Understanding another’s feelings and concern
  • Taking their perspective
  • Appreciating the differences in the way people feel about things

Assertiveness

  • Stating your concerns and feelings without anger or passion

Communication

  • Talking about emotions effectively
  • Becoming a good listener and question-asker
  • Distinguishing between what someone does or says and your reactions or judgment
  • Sending “I” instead of blame messages

Personal decision-making

  • Examining your actions and knowing their consequences
  • Knowing whether thought or emotion is ruling a decision

Self-disclosure

  • Valuing openness and building trust in a relationship
  • Knowing when it is safe to risk talking about your private feelings

Self-acceptance

  • Feeling pride and seeing yourself in a positive light
  • Recognizing your strengths and weaknesses
  • Being able to laugh at yourself

Personal responsibility

  • Taking responsibility
  • Recognizing the consequences of your decisions and actions
  • Accepting your feelings and moods
  • Following through on commitments

Insight

  • Identifying patterns in your emotional life and reactions
  • Recognizing similar patterns in others

Group dynamics

  • Co-operation
  • Knowing when and how to lead and when to follow
w&t_question

I Ask

I am now quite sure that many of the “difficult situations” I have encountered in my relations with colleagues and clients stem from a lack of emotional awareness on both sides.

What hints can you give me which I can practice and use to enhance my EQ?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

EQ is a multi- faceted concept and your overall EQ is determined by a combination of factors which all play a role in your interaction with others, including colleagues and customers.

The diagram below shows you these different factors and dimensions. The diagram also provides guidelines on how to enhance your emotional awareness in each dimension.

w&t_elephant

I Advise

EQ will affect your contribution to the company in several important ways, including: You become solution focused. You take responsibility for your yourself and your tasks.

Management time is freed as a result.

Purpose of the Career Development Guide
Chapter 1 p.3
What is the Walk & Talk process and what does it aim to achieve?
In our journey through life each of us seeks opportunities to take stock of who we are and where we are going.
The Walk & Talk process is a structured and coordinated process intended to lead the individual through a journey of discovery and personal development in the business and career environment.
Not only does this process assist you in the development of your knowledge, skills and self-awareness, but it should enable you to increase your contribution in the playing field called BUSINESS. It strives to grow your insight into what you can do differently as a team member, as an employee and for your customers in the quest to enhance your efficiency, effectiveness and value add.
Fundamentally, a business strives to build a successful company through successful team members with satisfied customers.
From that basic objective, it follows that there are THREE important role players in the business, each with different requirements whose interests need to be met and satisfied.
You, the individual
The company
Your customers
The company’s success will be measured in the final analysis by the financial returns which it delivers to all its stakeholders (including you).
This will depend on the degree of “overlap” of interests (also known as the Economic Value Add) which can be achieved amongst the three role players. The Walk & Talk process focuses on growing the individual in order to extend this overlap for maximum mutual benefit.
While keeping in mind to satisfy the differing needs of our three main role players…
Let the journey begin!

Chapter 1 p.3

w&t_question

I Ask

What is the Walk & Talk process and what does it aim to achieve?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

In our journey through life each of us seeks opportunities to take stock of who we are and where we are going.

The Walk & Talk process is a structured and coordinated process intended to lead the individual through a journey of discovery and personal development in the business and career environment.

Not only does this process assist you in the development of your knowledge, skills and self-awareness, but it should enable you to increase your contribution in the playing field called BUSINESS. It strives to grow your insight into what you can do differently as a team member, as an employee and for your customers in the quest to enhance your efficiency, effectiveness and value add.

Fundamentally, a business strives to build a successful company through successful team members with satisfied customers.

From that basic objective, it follows that there are THREE important role players in the business, each with different requirements whose interests need to be met and satisfied.

w&t_ch1_a_three_circless

You, the individual

The company

Your customers

The company’s success will be measured in the final analysis by the financial returns which it delivers to all its stakeholders (including you).

This will depend on the degree of “overlap” of interests (also known as the Economic Value Add) which can be achieved amongst the three role players. The Walk & Talk process focuses on growing the individual in order to extend this overlap for maximum mutual benefit.

w&t_elephant

I Advise

While keeping in mind to satisfy the differing needs of our three main role players…

Let the journey begin!

Interpersonal skills
Effective interpersonal skills are based on effective communication
Chapter 5
p.1
I am of the opinion that the way I get along with my colleagues is very important for my success. What can you teach me about interpersonal skills?
You are right – this is a critical aspect of success. Effective interpersonal skills in your business life as well as your personal life are based on effective communication.
Your contribution and value-add depend in large measure upon your ability to communicate effectively with customers and team members, understanding their behavior and upon the nature of the relationship you maintain with them.
Equally important is your own self-awareness of how you respond to others and how you are perceived by your customers and team members.
This section of the book deals with the various tools and concepts that will assist you in managing Interpersonal relationships.
But first – let’s study the Mindmap.
Apply the process of Actions & Results rather than Analysis & Understanding.
Use your great personal capacity and gain in understanding of how and where you do your best work while you work; avoid focusing on analyzing yourself and once you understand you will do something. Take action and learn as you do, rather than analyzing, trying to understand and then doing.
Interpersonal skills:
7 habits of highly effective people
Growing the arena – The Johari window
Stimulus and response
Association and Dissociation
Finding common ground
Understanding DISC profiles
Feedback gap:
Stimulus and response
Responding to anger signals
Effective questioning
Productive listening
Association and dissociation

Effective interpersonal skills are based on effective communication

Chapter 5 p.1

w&t_question

I Ask

I am of the opinion that the way I get along with my colleagues is very important for my success. What can you teach me about interpersonal skills?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

You are right – this is a critical aspect of success. Good interpersonal skills in your business life as well as your personal life are based on effective communication.

Your contribution and value-add depend in a large measure on your ability to communicate effectively with customers and team members; understanding their behavior and respecting the nature of your relationship.

Equally important is your own self-awareness of how you respond to others and how you are perceived by your customers and team members.

w&t_binoculars

I Explain

This section of the book deals with the various tools and concepts that will assist you in managing interpersonal relationships.

But first – let’s study the Mindmap.

Apply the process of Actions & Results rather than Analysis & Understanding.

Use your great personal capacity and gain in understanding of how and where you do your best work; avoid focusing on analyzing yourself and thinking that once you understand yourself you will do something.

Take action and learn as you do, rather than analyzing, trying to understand and then doing.

Interpersonal skills

Close the Feedback gap

Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective people
Chapter 5
p.2
What is the “7 Habits of Highly Effective people”, I often hear people referring to it? Can you tell me what it is all about? Can I apply these habits and concepts in business?
By following the ‘7 Habits of Highly Effective people’, you can enhance your performance in all aspects of life and will definitely contribute to greater success in business.
It is all about creating a Win-Win mind set and way of life. The diagram below will explain the following aspects:
What the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people entail.
The core principles underlying each of the seven habits.
The relationship between the seven habits and the dependency continuum.
Thank you to:
Franklin Covey for
“The 7 Habits of
Highly Effective People”.
First principle of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people
1.
Core principle:
Be pro-active, by applying self-knowledge and self-awareness in order to be able to choose your response.
Second principle of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people
2.
Core principle:
Self-awareness, personal vision and responsibility. Begin with the end in mind, by applying imagination and conscience.
Third principle of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people
3.
Core principle:
Leadership and having a mission.
Put first things first by applying will-power.
Fourth principle of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people
4.
Core principle:
Managing time and priorities around roles and goals. Think Win-Win by adopting an abundance mentality.
Fifth principle of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people
5.
Core principle:
Seeking mutual benefit.Seek first to understand, then to be understood by applying courage balanced by consideration.
Sixth principle of the 7 Habit of Highly Effective people
6.
Core principle:
Empathetic communication. “Sharpen the saw” through continuous improvement of
Self-renewal.
Seventh principle of the 7 Habits of Highly Sffective people
7.
Core principle:
Continuous involvement.
Interdependence – ‘WE’ paradigm:
We can do it.
We can co-operate.
We can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.
Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success. As an interdependent person, I have the opportunity to share myself and meaningfully with others, and have access to the vast resources and potential of other human beings.
Independence – ‘I’ paradigm:
I can do it.
I am responsible.
I am self reliant.
I can choose.
Independent people will strive to get what they want through their own efforts.
Dependence – ‘YOU’ paradigm: You take care of me.
You come through for me.
I blame you for the results.
Dependent people need others to get what they want.
How do I go about growing interdependence?
Growing interdependence depends upon building trust in relationships. Think of building trust as making deposits into an Emotional Bank Account.
The more deposits you make, the more reserves you accumulate.
Good awareness
The Emotional Bank Account:
Keeping commitments
Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit, breaking one is a major withdrawal.
Understanding the individual
Really seeking to understand another person is probably one of the most important deposits we can make, and it is the key to every other deposit.
Attending to the little things
The little kindnesses and courtesies are very important. Small discourtesies, a little unkindness, little forms of disrespect make large withdrawals. In relationships, the little things are the big things.
Apologizing sincerely when we make a withdrawal
When we make withdrawals from the emotional bank account, we need to apologize and we need to do it sincerely. Great deposits come in the sincere words:
“I was wrong.”
“That was unkind of me.”
“I showed you no respect.”
“I gave you no dignity, and I’m deeply sorry.”
It takes a great deal of character and strength to apologize quickly out of one’s heart rather than out of pity.
When we truly love others without condition, without strings, we help them feel secure and safe and validated and affirmed in essential worth, identity, and integrity. Their natural growth process is encouraged. We make it easier for them to live the laws of life – co-operation, contribution, self-discipline, integrity and to discover and live true to the highest and best within them.
“If I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, overreacting, ignoring you, becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust, threatening you, or playing little tin god in your life, my Emotional Bank Account will eventually be overdrawn.
The trust level will become very low. What flexibility do I then have?”

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Seven habits of highly successful people

Seven habits of highly successful people

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Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective people

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  • 7 Habits of highly effective people explained in question and answer style
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The 7 habits of highly effective people discussed in question and answer style.

7 habit of highly effective people

Ask

What are the seven habits of highly effective people, I often hear people referring to it? Can you tell me what it is all about? Can I apply these 7 habits and concepts in business?

7 habits of highly effective people covey

Answer

By following Covey’s 7 habits, you can enhance your performance in all aspects of life and will definitely contribute to greater success in business.

Steven Covey Core Principles

First principle of the 7 habits

Second principle of the seven habits

  • Self-awareness, personal vision and responsibility. Start with the end in mind, by applying your imagination and conscience. (see: goal setting smart)

Third principle of Covey’s habits

Fourth principle of Stephen Covey’s habits

  • Managing time and priorities around roles and goals. Think Win-Win by adopting an abundance mentality. (see: long term career goals) HERE

Fifth principle of the 7 good habits

Sixth principle of the seven habits

Seventh principle of the seven habits of highly effective people

  • Continuous involvement.

It is all about creating a Win-Win situation as a way of life.

The diagram below will explain the following aspects:

  • What the seven habits of highly effective people entail.
  • The core principles underlying each of the seven habits.
  • The relationship between the 7 habits and the dependency relationship.
  • [adrotate banner=”15″]
the 7 habits of highly effective people

The 7 habits of highly effective people

Thank you to: Stephen R  Covey for The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Interdependence – ‘WE’ paradigm

  • We can do it.
  • We can co-operate.
  • We can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.

Interdependent people combine their efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success. As an interdependent person, I have the opportunity to share myself meaningfully with others, and have access to the vast resources and potential of other human beings.

Independence – ‘I’ paradigm

  • I can do it.
  • I am responsible.
  • I am self reliant.
  • I can choose.

Independent people will strive to get what they want through their own efforts.

Dependence – ‘YOU’ paradigm

  • You take care of me.
  • You come through for me.
  • I blame you for the results.

Dependent people need others to get what they want.

the 7 habits

Ask

How do I go about growing interdependence?

seven habits of highly effective people stephen covey

Answer

Growing interdependence depends upon building trust in relationships. Think of building trust as making deposits into an Emotional Bank Account (explained below).

The more deposits you make, the more reserves you accumulate.

Good awareness

The Emotional Bank Account

Keeping commitments

Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit, breaking one is a major withdrawal.

Understanding the individual

Really seeking to understand another person is probably one of the most important deposits we can make, and it is the key to every other deposit.

Attending to the little things

The little kindnesses and courtesies are very important. Small discourtesies, a little unkindness, little forms of disrespect make large withdrawals. In relationships, the little things are the big things.

Apologizing sincerely when we make a withdrawal

When we make withdrawals from the emotional bank account, we need to apologize and we need to do it sincerely. Great deposits come from the sincere words:

“I was wrong”

“That was unkind of me”

“I didn’t show you respect”

“I gave you no dignity, and I’m deeply sorry”

It takes a great deal of character and strength to apologize sincerely.

When we truly love others without condition, without strings; we help them feel secure, safe, validated and affirmed in their essential worth, identity and integrity. Their natural growth process is encouraged. We make it easier for them to follow the laws of life: co-operation, contribution, self-discipline and integrity. Love encourages to discover and live true to your highest and best.

7 habits of highly effective people pdf

Advise

If I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, overreacting, ignoring you, becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust, threatening you, or playing little tin god in your life,  my Emotional Bank Account will eventually be overdrawn.

The trust level will become very low. What flexibility do I then have?

7 habit of highly effective people

7 habit of highly effective people

Wondering if you should change careers? Read this: What career is right for me