Perspective

Associate and participate or Dissociate for perspective using NLP
Chapter 5
p.5
Dissociation and Association? Sounds terribly complicated to me! What is it and how can it help me to improve my interaction with colleagues and customers?
Dissociation and Association are two NLP techniques and are closely related to the Johari Window – The Glad Game.
Dissociation means literally to disconnect, create some distance, to gain perspective, to see situations and yourself in perspective.
Association means to connect closely, to participate in the here and now. In dealing with any external stimulus, like a problem, you can choose whether you want to Associate or Dissociate.
You can even shift from one to the other to gain a more complete understanding and insight. Unfortunately, many people operate in either the one or the other mode …
Mike Matulovich’s’ explanation of “seeing yourself in the picture vs. seeing yourself in the situation” should make it even clearer.
Thank you to: Mike Matulovich
Dissociation (Disconnect)
See yourself in the picture
(become aware of yourself).
Observer of yourself.
Talk to yourself about the situation.
How do you feel about your feelings.
Did you know?
Human beings are the only animal species that can dissociate.
Dissociation is useful for:
Dealing with conflict.
(It allows you to have better control of the situation and enables you to ask questions in an objective manner and tone).
Monitoring yourself. (Stand apart from yourself.)
See yourself from outside yourself. (See yourself through the eyes of someone else. Step outside of yourself to manage conflict.)
Enabling you to:
Feel pain
Remain in control
Feel no emotion which obscures judgment
Learn from negative experiences
Build resourcefulness
Design desired states
Association (Connect)
See now what you see.
Participate in the event.
Hear now what you hear.
Feel now what you experience.
Did you know?
Association is the state we live in – the subjective experience.
Association is useful for:
Enjoying yourself (Associate with happiness, success, feelings of love and joy – live for the moment.)
Empowering yourself with successes.
Utilizing positive experiences.
(When tackling a problem draw from past successes – think of all the thousands of problems you have already solved.)
Accessing resourcefulness.
Accessing past positive states.
Writing down a problem immediately dissociates one from it.
One should associate with success and happiness, and utilize success to deal with problems.

Associate and Participate or Dissociate for Perspective using NLP

Chapter 5 p.5

w&t_question

I Ask

Dissociation and Association? Sounds terribly complicated to me! What is it and how can it help me to improve my interaction with colleagues and customers?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

Dissociation and Association are two NLP techniques and are closely related to the Johari Window – The Glad Game.

Dissociation means literally to disconnect, create some distance, to gain perspective, to see situations and yourself in perspective.

Association means to connect closely, to participate in the here and now. In dealing with any external stimulus, like a problem, you can choose whether you want to Associate or Dissociate.

You can even shift from one to the other to gain a more complete understanding and insight. Unfortunately, many people operate in either the one or the other mode …

w&t_binoculars

I Explain

Mike Matulovich’s’ explanation of “seeing yourself in the picture vs. seeing yourself in the situation” should make it even clearer.

w&t_ch5_f_association-and-dissociation

Thank you to: Mike Matulovich

Dissociation (Disconnect)

  • See yourself in the picture
    (become aware of yourself).
  • Observer of yourself.
  • Talk to yourself about the situation.
  • How do you feel about your feelings.

Did you know?

Human beings are the only animal species that can dissociate.

Dissociation is useful for:

  • Dealing with conflict.
    (It allows you to have better control of the situation and enables you to ask questions in an objective manner and tone).
  • Monitoring yourself. (Stand apart from yourself.)
  • See yourself from outside yourself. (See yourself through the eyes of someone else. Step outside of yourself to manage conflict.)
  • Enabling you to:
    • Feel pain
    • Remain in control
    • Feel no emotion which obscures judgment
    • Learn from negative experiences
    • Build resourcefulness
    • Design desired states

Association (Connect)

  • See now what you see.
  • Participate in the event.
  • Hear now what you hear.
  • Feel now what you experience.

Did you know?

Association is the state we live in – the subjective experience.

Association is useful for:

  • Enjoying yourself (Associate with happiness, success, feelings of love and joy – live for the moment.)
  • Empowering yourself with successes.
  • Utilizing positive experiences.
    (When tackling a problem draw from past successes – think of all the thousands of problems you have already solved.)
  • Accessing resourcefulness.
  • Accessing past positive states.Writing down a problem immediately dissociates one from it.
w&t_elephant

I Advise

One should associate with success and happiness, and utilize success to deal with problems.

Use the GROW model to develop effective questioning skills
Chapter 5 p.11
I find that effective questioning is at the heart of dealing successfully with various situations. Which tools can I use to improve my questioning skills?
The “GROW Model” is one such tool which can be used for problem solving, review and assessment, relationship issues; in fact, virtually any issue which arises in work or life in general.
It is a process which elicits a positive response and generates and demands a more positive perspective from others, both clients and colleagues.
But what does “GROW” mean?
The GROW Model focuses on four aspects which can be applied when asking question in practically any situation:
G = GOALS
R = REALITY
O = OPTIONS
W = WILL
Goals:
What is the goal of this discussion?
What do you want to achieve?
Is it an end or performance goal?
If an end goal – what is the performance goal associated with it?
When do we want to achieve our goal?
(Positive – Challenging – Attainable)
Reality:
Where are we now?
Where did we come from?
What is happening now?
What results did that produce?
What is happening internally and externally?
Who is involved?What have you done about this so far?
Options:
What options do we have?
What else can we do?
What if…?
Would you like another suggestion?
What are the benefits and costs associated
with each of these options?
Will:
What are you going to do?
Will this meet your/our goal?
What obstacles could you face?
How will you overcome them?
What support do you need?
How will you get that support?
When are you going to do it?
Effective questioning and effective listening are definitely indispensable skills for effective mentioning and feedback.

Use the GROW model to develop effective questioning skills

Chapter 5 p.11

w&t_question

I Ask

I find that effective questioning is at the heart of dealing successfully with various situations. Which tools can I use to improve my questioning skills?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

The GROW Model is one such tool which can be used for problem solving, review and assessment, relationship issues; in fact, virtually any issue which arises in work or life in general.

It is a process which elicits a positive response and generates and demands a more positive perspective from others, both clients and colleagues.

w&t_question

I Ask

But what does GROW mean?

w&t_binoculars

I Explain

The GROW Model focuses on four aspects which can be applied when asking questions in practically any situation:

G = GOALS

R = REALITY

O = OPTIONS

W = WILL

Goals

  1. What is the goal of this discussion?
  2. What do you want to achieve?
  3. Is it an end or performance goal?
  4. If an end goal – what is the performance goal associated with it?
  5. When do we want to achieve our goal?

(Positive – Challenging – Attainable)

Reality

  1. Where are we now?
  2. Where did we come from?
  3. What is happening now?
  4. What results did that produce?
  5. What is happening internally and externally?
  6. Who is involved?
  7. What have you done about this so far?

Options

  1. What options do we have?
  2. What else can we do?
  3. What if…?
  4. Would you like another suggestion?
  5. What are the benefits and costs associated with each of these options?

Will

  1. What are you going to do?
  2. Will this meet your/our goal?
  3. What obstacles could you face?
  4. How will you overcome them?
  5. What support do you need?
  6. How will you get that support?
  7. When are you going to do it?
w&t_elephant

I Advise

Effective questioning and effective listening are definitely indispensable skills for effective mentioning and feedback.