Mindset

A quick summary of the seven habits of highly effective people:

Habit 1: Be proactive in doing and planning

Habit 2: Begin with a very clear end in mind

Habit 3: First things first, invest your time wisely

Habit 4: Have a win/win mindset

Habit 5: Understand the other party first, then help them understand you

Habit 6: Find synergy between parties and focus on these overlaps

Habit 7: Sharpen your edge, keep growing and keep it going

For a very detailed and thorough step by step guide to the 7 habits: Habits of successful people

A frame of mind which seeks mutual benefit in all interactions
Chapter 4
p.5
What does “Win-Win” really mean and what do I do about
developing a Win-Win mind set?
In his best-seller “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” Steven Covey defines Win-Win as a frame of mind which constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions.
Win-Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying.
With a Win-Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan.
Win-Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena. Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed, because it is based on power and position rather than principle.
Win-Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.
Win-Win is a belief in the third alternative. It’s not your way or my way; it’s a better way, a higher way.
To grow a Win-Win mind set, you need to focus on the development of three character traits:
Integrity
Integrity means:
Treating everyone by the same set of principles.
Conforming reality to our words – keeping promises
and fulfilling expectations.
Being loyal to those who are not present.
Maturity
Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. Expressing feelings and convictions with courage balanced with consideration for the feelings and convictions of another person requires maturity, particularly if the issue is very important to both parties.
An Abundance Mentality
An abundance mentality flows from a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is a paradigm that states that this is a world of plenty and that there is enough for everybody. It results in the sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives and creativity.

A frame of mind which seeks mutual benefit in all interactions

Chapter 4 p.5

w&t_question

I Ask

What does “Win-Win” really mean and what do I do about

developing a Win-Win mind set?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

In his best-seller The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey defines Win-Win as a frame of mind which constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions.

  • Win-Win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying.
  • With a Win-Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan.
  • Win-Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena. Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed, because it is based on power and position rather than principle.
  • Win-Win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others.
  • Win-Win is a belief in the third alternative. It’s not your way or my way; it’s a better way, a higher way.
w&t_binoculars

I Explain

To grow a Win-Win mind set, you need to focus on the development of three character traits:

1. Integrity

Integrity means:

  • Treating everyone by the same set of principles.
  • Conforming reality to our words – keeping promises and fulfilling expectations.
  • Being loyal to those who are not present.

2. Maturity

Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. Expressing feelings and convictions with courage balanced with consideration for the feelings and convictions of another person requires maturity, particularly if the issue is very important to both parties.

3. An Abundance Mentality

An abundance mentality flows from a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is a paradigm that states that this is a world of plenty and that there is enough for everybody. It results in the sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives and creativity.

Career choices based on the unknown
Making career choices based on what is unknown is always a source of uncertainty for most. We fear that which we do not know. Imagine looking down a very dark tunnel running straight down into the earth. You are expected to jump into this hole, you expect this of yourself or others expect this of you. To you this hole looks like it just goes down forever, a never ending drop into a very deep abyss…
Actually the hole is only two meters deep, but you don’t know that because you only see the black opening! We are too afraid to jump into this hole simply because we know nothing of it.
Many a time it is the same with ones career choices. We are expected to make a career choice, be it a big change or a small task in our current career; it feels like we are jumping into that ‘very deep’ unknown hole. Especially with the small everyday career choices at the office, imagine having to jump into unknown holes ten times a day!
How do we usually react to such situations? We just don’t do it, we ignore it or we take forever to take action; it is just too fearful and unknown. Many a time one will miss a great opportunity, other times it was the right career choice, one will never be a hundred percent certain before making a jump.
Read the coaching session on career choices based on the unknown…
How does one overcome this fear of the unknown?
Freely use our Career Development Guide and make the information on the following pages your own, these skills and knowledge will make big and small career choices much simpler:
Emotional awareness
Signal to transform into a positive mindset
Turn all emotional experiences into selected actions
The glad game
Productive listening
Effective questioning
The decision making process
The issue resolution model
The process of transformation
The need for continuous goal clarification
Closing the feedback gap
Before we go any further, the most important fact to remember is to jump slowly! A sudden jump will almost always hurt. For example if one realizes it is time to change jobs, careers, cars, anything, do it slowly over a period of time and with the right information.
Gather the most information concerning the specific career choice one possibly can, make an informed jump .
Talk to the people around you; family, friends, colleagues, people you trust. Frame the situation you find yourself in for them and listen to what they think, but really listen and take their advice seriously; even if you think it might be senseless information at the time. One is usually very surprised at the wisdom that exists in others we share with.
Another time tested method is to write about this career choice you are facing. Write down all the questions that come to mind. Answer the ones you are able to answer, leave the others for later. Check with others, what they think would be the best answers to the questions, the ones already answered as well. Just keep on writing, anything and everything that comes to mind. It is amazing how things clear when they are out of ones head and somewhere else, there is now space for new truths to take shape. This method is equally effective for any challenging choice one might face.
Frame your mind
Continuously frame your mind for the time when one will go from information to choice to action. In more direct terms, bull%&*# your mind into taking positive action. Motivate your mind into believing that taking the action will come to success; believe it and your voice and attitude will reflect it. Think positive!
If you jump and fall a bit hard, don’t stay there too long, your muscles will start cramping! While recovering from a hard fall, take time and reflect on which choices could have been made differently and which information one did not have. Reflection is good, but not to be overused. We were built to jump and grow and run and build, ones system will recover. Get up and move.
Please share your experience at our value exchange forums and ask questions!
How does one “safely” make this jump?
Slowly. Taking action based on a choice would sometimes be faster, other times slower, never instant. At the very least apply the twenty four hour rule; especially when another person angered or frustrated you, an instant answer, remark or response is never the desired reaction. If you are angry or frustrated, allow twenty four hours to pass before you react or jump in.
A career choice with longer terms effects, for example changing careers, should be made even slower. Weeks, months could and probably should pass before making the jump. Phase into action bit by bit. Remember delegation. When changing careers, jobs, departments or positions, don’t leave gaps behind. Ensure others will be able to successfully do the job you did and you will always be welcome again!
Coaching session on Fear of the unknown career choices
Dawie
I have an opportunity to go and work with Aleph. I currently work for a company called New-World and do not know if I should change jobs. What do you think?
Nicholas
Do you enjoy your current job?
Dawie
No, I want to do graphic communication and am currently a salesman. Doing what I love doing, graphic communications, part time.
Nicholas
Why do you not want to change jobs / careers if you will do full time what you are doing part time now?
Dawie
I am not 100% certain what it is I will be doing. There is the probability that I will do some of the things I want to do, but I might have other responsibilities.
Nicholas
Would these other responsibilities be a problem to you? If some of the work would be in graphic communication? As you grow in the skill of delegation, you could always delegate more of the work you do not enjoy doing.
Dawie
No it would probably not.
Nicholas
How would you get more information on what would be expected of you in this position working with Aleph?
Dawie
I would set up a meeting with a more senior person in the company and talk to them about what it is I would be doing. Maybe talk to some other employees of the company and get a feel for how the company operates.
Nicholas
If you like what you hear and see would you then be more comfortable making a decision?
Dawie
I would get all the information I can, share this with the people around me, for example friends and family, and hear what they have to say. Once I feel comfortable that I have sufficient information and feedback to base a decisive choice on, I will take action.

Career choices based on the unknown

Making career choices based on what is unknown is always a source of uncertainty for most, especially for those considering a midlife career change. We fear that which we do not know. Imagine looking down a very dark tunnel running straight down into the earth. You are expected to jump into this hole, you expect this of yourself or others expect this of you. To you this hole looks like it just goes down forever, a never ending drop into a very deep abyss…

Actually the hole is only two meters deep, but you don’t know that because you only see the black opening! We are too afraid to jump into this hole simply because we know nothing of it.

w&t_binoculars

I Explain

Many a time it is the same with one’s career choices. We are expected to make a career choice, be it a big change or a small task in our current career; it feels like we are jumping into that ‘very deep’ unknown hole. Especially with the small everyday career choices at the office, imagine having to jump into unknown holes ten times a day!

How do we usually react to such situations? We just don’t do it, we ignore it or we take forever to take action; it is just too fearful and unknown. Many a time one will miss a great opportunity, other times it was the right career choice, one will never be a hundred percent certain before making a jump.

Read the coaching session on career choices based on the unknown…

w&t_question

I Ask

How does one overcome this fear of the unknown?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

Use our Walk and Talk guide and make the information on the following pages your own, these skills and knowledge will make big and small career choices much simpler:

Before we go any further, the most important fact to remember is to jump slowly! A sudden jump will almost always hurt. For example if one realizes it is time to change jobs, careers, cars, anything, do it slowly over a period of time and with the right information.

Gather the most information concerning the specific career choice one possibly can, make an informed jump .

Talk to the people around you; family, friends, colleagues, people you trust. Frame the situation you find yourself in for them and listen to what they think, but really listen and take their advice seriously; even if you think it might be senseless information at the time. One is usually very surprised at the wisdom that exists in others we share with.

w&t_elephant

I Advise

Another time tested method is to write about this career choice you are facing. Write down all the questions that come to mind. Answer the ones you are able to answer, leave the others for later. Check with others, what they think would be the best answers to the questions, the ones already answered as well. Just keep on writing, anything and everything that comes to mind. It is amazing how things clear when they are out of your head and somewhere else, there is now space for new truths to take shape. This method is equally effective for any challenging choice one might face.

Frame your mind

w&t_binoculars

I Answer

Continuously frame your mind for the time when you will go from information to choice to action. In more direct terms, bulldoze your mind into taking positive action. Motivate your mind into believing that taking the action will come to success; believe it and your voice and attitude will reflect it. Think positive!

If you jump and fall a bit hard, don’t stay there too long, your muscles will start cramping! While recovering from a hard fall, take time and reflect on which choices could have been made differently and which information one did not have. Reflection is good, but not to be overused. We were built to jump and grow and run and build, your system will recover. Get up and move.

w&t_question

I Ask

How does I safely make this jump?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

Slowly. Taking action based on a choice would sometimes be faster, other times slower, never instant. At the very least apply the twenty four hour rule; especially when another person angered or frustrated you, an instant answer, remark or response is never the desired reaction. If you are angry or frustrated, allow twenty four hours to pass before you react or jump in.

A career choice with longer terms effects, for example changing careers, should be made even slower. Weeks, months could and probably should pass before making the jump. Phase into action bit by bit. Remember delegation. When changing careers, jobs, departments or positions, don’t leave gaps behind. Ensure others will be able to successfully do the job you did and you will always be welcome again!

Coaching session on Fear of the Unknown Career Choices

Dawie

I have an opportunity to go and work with Aleph. I currently work for a company called New-World and do not know if I should change jobs. What do you think?

Nicholas

Do you enjoy your current job?

Dawie

No, I want to do graphic communication and am currently a salesman. Doing what I love doing, graphic communications, part time.

Nicholas

Why do you not want to change jobs / careers if you will do full time what you are doing part time now?

Dawie

I am not 100% certain what it is I will be doing. There is the probability that I will do some of the things I want to do, but I might have other responsibilities.

Nicholas

Would these other responsibilities be a problem to you? If some of the work would be in graphic communication? As you grow in the skill of delegation, you could always delegate more of the work you do not enjoy doing.

Dawie

No it would probably not.

Nicholas

How would you get more information on what would be expected of you in this position working with Aleph?

Dawie

I would set up a meeting with a more senior person in the company and talk to them about what it is I would be doing. Maybe talk to some other employees of the company and get a feel for how the company operates.

Nicholas

If you like what you hear and see would you then be more comfortable making a decision?

Dawie

I would get all the information I can, share this with the people around me, for example friends and family, and hear what they have to say. Once I feel comfortable that I have sufficient information and feedback to base a decisive choice on, I will take action.

Create your own deadline or compelling event
Why would one create a compelling event or deadline for yourself?
Successful company builders know that people can and should be stretched. Unre Visagie built many successful companies. He stretches the people that work with him in building these companies; people discover depths within them they never knew they had. The knowledge successful company builders have is to know when to stop expecting more from an individual and allow that specific growth curve to play itself out. The trick is that anyone wanting to grow their careers can apply this same “pressure” to themselves in building their own successful careers. Have a career builder attitude!
What is compelling events or deadlines?
A compelling event is something that’s going to happen and bears serious consequences on the day of the event, if certain criterion is not met. A deadline is a date or time something must be done; a deadline could be a compelling event. For the remainder of this section we use Compelling Event and Deadline interchangeably; this process is about getting work done, having fun and growing ones career, in the spirit of growing careers, the two terms are the same.
How would one go about setting your own deadline?
Career Builder learned from working with many individual careers. A good place to begin is to grow a win-win mindset! When one has a win-win mindset growth happens almost on autopilot. Ones environment becomes electric and more people become involved in achieving the goals you set for yourself. People want to be part of something that is alive and excels. Build your career by setting your own deadlines. Set your own goals and work hard to achieve these goals. Remember to always stay flexible to absorb opportunities that may arise. Be careful not to chase down ones goals in a destructive manner to the of what’s happening around you. Develop your unique win-win mindset and involve other people; growing their careers in the process of achieving your goals. Such a person is always wanted in any team! Career Builder call this process “Create your own compelling events”, in other words create your own deadlines.
Coaching session implementing Create your own compelling events:
Nadine
Why would one want to create your own deadlines?
Barry
It creates an environment of growth around you. You will need extra resources; acquiring those resources to get the job done will fast-track your growth in career skills. Deadlines, ones you created or otherwise, get the job done and that’s always a good thing J
Nadine
Which career skills will one typically expand when I create my own deadlines?
Barry
Skills like delegation, questioning skills, listening skills and Overcoming ones fear of the unknown to name but a few.
Nadine
How do I create my own compelling events?
Barry
Prioritize your work. Those tasks and projects at the top is the place to begin. Ask questions like:
Do these projects have deadlines?
If not set a reasonable time for them to be completed.
Which extra resources will I need to complete these projects?
Get these resources, use delegation.
Ask yourself what the one with the resources you have needs that you can offer.
If the project does have a deadline, can I complete the project before the deadline date?
Can I create “small” compelling events before the big date that will assist me in completing certain tasks faster?
Create mini projects out of certain aspects of the bigger project.
Nadine
How would I manage these compelling events I set for myself?
Barry
Use organizing and communication processes to do this. There are many tools, CareerDevelopmentPlan and Alephsynergy will have all the tools you need.
Nadine
If I am unable to complete the deadlines I set for myself, how should one handle this?
Barry
Knowing that you worked hard to complete this deadline, the only thing you can do is learn from what happened. Make some time and review what you did, ask yourself questions like:
What could one have done differently?
Which other resources could one have used?
Which of the tools, methods and processes one used worked and which did not work?
Why did they work and, if not, why did they not work?
Which skills did I learn through creating my own compelling events?
Use questioning skills.
Remember to make time and see how much you grew in the process. Do not just focus on the things that did not work…
Take an orange from your backpack of life, sit down on the mountain you are climbing and look back at the view. Appreciate the effort it took to climb to where you are and enjoy the new skills you have learned.

Create your own deadline or compelling event

w&t_question

I Ask

Why would one create a compelling event or deadline for yourself?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

Successful company builders know that people can and should be stretched. Unre Visagie built many successful companies. He stretches the people that work with him in building these companies; people discover depths within them they never knew they had. The knowledge successful company builders have is to know when to stop expecting more from an individual and allow that specific growth curve to play itself out. The trick is that anyone wanting to grow their careers can apply this same “pressure” to themselves in building their own successful careers. Have a career builder attitude!

w&t_question

I Ask

What is compelling events or deadlines?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

A compelling event is something that’s going to happen and bears serious consequences on the day of the event, if certain criterion is not met. A deadline is a date or time something must be done; a deadline could be a compelling event. For the remainder of this section we use Compelling Event and Deadline interchangeably; this process is about getting work done, having fun and growing one’s career, in the spirit of growing careers, the two terms are the same.

w&t_question

I Ask

How would one go about setting your own deadline?

w&t_binoculars

I Answer

Career Builder learned from working with many individual careers. A good place to begin is to grow a win-win mindset! When one has a win-win mindset growth happens almost on autopilot. One’s environment becomes electric and more people become involved in achieving the goals you set for yourself. People want to be part of something that is alive and excels.

Build your career by setting your own deadlines. Set your own goals and work hard to achieve these goals. Remember to always stay flexible to absorb opportunities that may arise. Be careful not to chase down one’s goals in a destructive manner. Develop your unique win-win mindset and involve other people; growing their careers in the process of achieving your goals. Such a person is always wanted in any team! Career Builder call this process “Create your own compelling events”, in other words create your own deadlines.

Coaching session implementing Create your own compelling events:

Nadine

Why would one want to create your own deadlines?

Barry

It creates an environment of growth around you. You will need extra resources; acquiring those resources to get the job done will fast-track your growth in career skills. Deadlines, ones you created or otherwise, gets the job done and that’s always a good thing.

Nadine

Which career skills will I typically expand when I create my own deadlines?

Barry

Skills like delegation, questioning skills, listening skills and overcoming one’s fear of the unknown, to name but a few.

Nadine

How do I create my own compelling events?

Barry

Prioritize your work. Those tasks and projects at the top is the place to begin. Ask questions like:

  • Do these projects have deadlines?
    • If not set a reasonable time for them to be completed.
  • Which extra resources will I need to complete these projects?
    • Get these resources: use delegation.
  • Ask yourself what the one with the resources needs that you can offer.
  • If the project does have a deadline, can I complete the project before the deadline date?
  • Can I create “small” compelling events before the big date that will assist me in completing certain tasks faster?
  • Create mini projects out of certain aspects of the bigger project.

Nadine

How would I manage these compelling events I set for myself?

Barry

Use organizing and communication processes to do this. There are many tools, CareerDevelopmentPlan and Alephsynergy will have all the tools you need.

Nadine

If I am unable to complete the deadlines I set for myself, how should I handle this?

Barry

Knowing that you worked hard to complete this deadline, the only thing you can do is learn from what happened. Make some time and review what you did, ask yourself questions like:

  • What could I have done differently?
  • Which other resources could I have used?
  • Which of the tools, methods and processes I used worked and which did not work?
  • Why did they work and, if not, why did they not work?
  • Which skills did I learn through creating my own compelling events?
  • Use questioning skills.
  • Remember to make time and see how much you grew in the process. Do not just focus on the things that did not work…

Take an orange from your backpack of life, sit down on the mountain you are climbing and look back at the view. Appreciate the effort it took to climb to where you are and enjoy the new skills you have learned.