Elephant

Be aware of behavioral types and turn emotions into chosen actions

Chapter 4 p.4

The other day I heard somebody say that his team leader “is a true elephant”. Now, was that a compliment or a negative remark? Somebody once said to me that I must be careful not to lapse into ostrich behavior. What is it with all these animals ? Are we a business or a zoo?

w&t_exclamation
I Answer

Various models and topologies exist that can be used to describe human personalities and behavioral types. Mike Matulovich divides behavioral types into three main categories, which he calls the Elephant, Ostrich and Rhinoceros. The names give us clues to the type of person and behavioral style we can expect to find in each category.

w&t_question
I Ask

I can guess what the behavior of an ostrich and a rhinoceros could be like, but what makes a person an elephant?

w&t_binoculars
I Ask

Let me give you a summary, then I will explain it fully in the diagram after the summary.

The Rhinoceros
Positional Power
The Elephant
Personal Power
The Ostrich
Lack of Power
This type of person is characterized by the use of external control. This type of person is characterized by the use of personal control. This type of person is characterized by lack of control.
They are emotionally immature and use the power of position, title, etc. They enjoy the respect of others. They exhibit a low self – worth and self-esteem.
Insecure since they are constantly “in debt”. They attempt to hide their insecurity from themselves and others by using aggressive means. They are able to negotiate. Ruled by a Scarcity Mentality and that they are a born losers.
Ruled by a Scarcity Mentality and hence have difficulty in sharing recognition, credit, power, success or information. Secure in themselves since their power is based on internal control and not on the external control of position, seniority or title. They expect to be cheated, stepped on and to be unappreciated by others.
They are threatened by the success and development of other people. Abundant mentality – there is enough for everybody – they can share credit, power, information,
ideas, etc.
Expect the worst, invite it and usually get the worst.
They believe that in every transaction there must be a winner and a loser and are determined to win at all costs. Have confidence in themselves and are therefore not threatened by the success of others. They defend themselves by hiding behind a wall of apathy and indifference towards themselves and others.
They need to control others that report to them. Emotionally mature. “Reside” almost permanently in the victim’s corner.
They build weaknesses in themselves by becoming dependent on external factors to get things done. Curious. Either give up, give in or get out. They will not attempt to problem solve and very often will not even acknowledge that there is a problem.
They create weaknesses in others by causing them to react on the basis of fear or conformity; thus stunting their own reasoning, freedom, growth and internal discipline. Have courage and compassion. They avoid having to take personal responsibility for anything and uses six strategies to achieve this:
Build weaknesses in their relationships. They become strained; fear replaces co-operation; each person involved becomes a little more arbitrary, a little more agitated and a little more defensive. They ask for, welcome and listen to feedback.
  1. Don’t play.
  2. Keep others from winning.
  3. Don’t complete anything.
  4. Destroy the game.
  5. Play the nice guy routine.
  6. Become a problem.
Force
Fear
Dictatorship
Punish
Avoid certainty at all costs. Plead
Apologetic
No control
Not Deserving
Use their imagination to create a vision of the future, focusing on solutions as opposed to being caught up in past problems.
Consult
Respect
Negotiation
Partnership
Reason
Pride

w&t_question
I Ask

That’s interesting! I won’t tell you where I see myself… But can you give me an idea of the behavior that I can expect from each type in the work environment?

w&t_exclamation
I Answer

The three behavioral types most often manifest themselves in the work environment in terms of ‘Assertiveness’. Take note of how the degree of assertiveness corresponds with the core characteristics of each type, as explained in the diagram below.

Assertiveness = Aggression Assertiveness =Assertiveness Assertiveness = Submission
They force and threaten, and control and manipulate others. They encourage others to be self-controlled, motivated and to achieve results of which they can be proud. They allow others to control and manipulate them. They plead and abdicate.
Believe that they have rights and that others do not have equal rights, therefore they often violate others’ rights. Believe that all have Equal rights, stand up for their own rights and respect rights of others. Believe they have few rights and that others on same level also have few rights. They believe they must remain submissive.
Express their ideas and feelings in a manner that might be hurtful to others and do not allow others to express their ideas or feeling, unless they are in agreement with their own. Express ideas and feelings openly and honestly and encourage others to do the same. Reluctant to express ideas and feelings.
Demand more information and accuse the source of poor clarification. Ask for information and clarification in order to understand and succeed. They give up easily if ideas are challenged.
Will not ask for more information or clarification for fear of criticism or rejection.
Question and challenge in an attacking and personal style and will not allow others to question and challenge them. Question and Challenge in a constructive and non-threatening manner in order to arrive at the truth. Afraid to question and challenge
Encourage others to question and challenge and they learn from the process.

w&t_elephant
I Advise

I’d say that a high Emotional Awareness and Inter-dependence are Elephant characteristics…

Using the Career Development Guide
Chapter 1
Within the pages of the Walk & Talk guide you will find many very useful tools and processes to assist in getting the most out of your career and personal life. The book is presented in the form of four characters interacting with each other, asking questions, giving answers, supplying more information and adding extra wisdom. On this page you will meet three of these characters, Questioning Qwesty, Clarifying Exclamy, Knowledgeable Bino and Wise Elephant. On page three is a more thorough introduction to the three characters.
This guide aims to assist the reader in building a career like one would build a business, the same knowledge that build successful family businesses build rich and successful careers. View the skills, resources and relationships one accumulates as key building blocks in building a career you want, work becomes fun and one never has to do another days work in your entire life!
We named this book the Walk & Talk guide because one learns the skills required for a successful career and business the same way one learns to walk and talk; by observing and imitating those who already know how to do it! Your desire to walk and talk came from being amongst people who could walk and talk. How do you get exposed to where your talents applied means you never do a days work in your life. In short, identify the skills one needs to achieve a goal, identify the individual or organization that does what you require and engage those resources. Career training, career education and the importance of career networking can be achieved using a straightforward career builder process we call “Identify and engage the resources one needs to build a great career!”
We have compiled this book and it contains processes that strive to assist you in building a super successful career!
PS. Supplement all you learn from this book with extra resources such as the web (we provide many useful links), books, people (start a discussion group at the office), forums ext.
Before setting out on this big journey of discovery as you call it, explain to me how this book is organized. Will I be able to find my way when I want to read about a certain topic or wish to review some material?
The content is organized and presented in two ways to help you obtain the maximum value from reading and using this book.
On the next page you will find a Table of Content which indicates the structure of the book. As indicated on the previous page, the Walk & Talk process concerns itself with three principal role players. The contents is consequently grouped under three main headings relating to the INDIVIDUAL, the COMPANY and the CUSTOMER.
Within these main headings, the topics are organized in a series of categories for ease of reference. The aim is to convey to you the essence of each topic as clearly and concisely as possible.
Besides orientating you about the concepts and tools used in the company, this book is also intended to serve as a reference guide to be used whenever you wish to refresh your memory on relevant concepts and processes as they crop up in your work.
A book of this nature can never contain ALL the information needed for a complete understanding of each topic (although we try :-). Many of the topics will be clarified during training sessions and further discussion groups. We will also use the internet extensively for many more relevant sources of information.
Many of the concepts presented here span the boundaries of the categories used to organize the material for presentation in book format. Many key topics should be read and explored in conjunction with one another. Therefore the various topics and themes are presented as “mind maps” as well to assist you in developing an overall picture of the various ideas and their inter-relationships.
Depending on your current level of growth, you will find the Walk & Talk process a useful tool:
To enhance your understanding of the concepts, skills and tools relevant to your work within a company, your career and in your personal life.
As a quick reference guide to refresh your memory about the tools, processes and diagrams as they crop up in your work.
As a guide to identify personal training and development needs.

Using the Career Development Guide

Chapter 1

Tools and processes

Within the pages of the Walk & Talk guide you will find many very useful tools and processes to assist in getting the most out of your career and personal life. The book is presented in the form of four characters interacting with each other, asking questions, giving answers, supplying more information and adding extra wisdom. On this page you will meet three of these characters, Questioning Qwesty, Clarifying Exclamy and Wise Elephant. On page three is a more thorough introduction to the three characters.

This guide aims to assist the reader in building a career like one would build a business, the same knowledge that build successful family businesses build rich and successful careers. View the skills, resources and relationships one accumulates as key building blocks in building the career you want, work becomes fun and one never has to do another day’s work in your entire life!

Walk & Talk guide

We named this book the Walk & Talk guide because one learns the skills required for a successful career and business the same way one learns to walk and talk; by observing and imitating those who already know how to do it! Your desire to walk and talk came from being amongst people who could walk and talk. How do you get exposed to where your talents applies means you never do a days work in your life. In short, identify the skills you need to achieve a goal, identify the individual or organization that does what you require and engage those resources. Career training, career education and the importance of career networking can be achieved using a straightforward career builder process we call “Identify and engage the resources you needs to build a great career!”

We have compiled this book and it contains processes that strive to assist you in building a super successful career!

PS Supplement all you learn from this book with extra resources such as the web (we provide many useful links), books, people (start a discussion group at the office), forums etc.

w&t_question

I Ask

Before setting out on this big journey of discovery as you call it, explain to me how this book is organized. Will I be able to find my way when I want to read about a certain topic or wish to review some material?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

The content is organized and presented in two ways to help you obtain the maximum value from reading and using this book.

On the next page you will find a Table of Content which indicates the structure of the book. As indicated on the previous page, the Walk & Talk process concerns itself with three principal role players. The contents is consequently grouped under three main headings relating to the INDIVIDUAL, the COMPANY and the CUSTOMER.

Within these main headings, the topics are organized in a series of categories for ease of reference. The aim is to convey to you the essence of each topic as clearly and concisely as possible.

Besides orientating you about the concepts and tools used in the company, this book is also intended to serve as a reference guide to be used whenever you wish to refresh your memory on relevant concepts and processes as they crop up in your work.

A book of this nature can never contain ALL the information needed for a complete understanding of each topic (although we try :-). Many of the topics will be clarified during training sessions and further discussion groups. We will also use the internet extensively for many more relevant sources of information.

Many of the concepts presented here span the boundaries of the categories used to organize the material for presentation in book format. Many key topics should be read and explored in conjunction with one another. Therefore the various topics and themes are presented as “mind maps” as well to assist you in developing an overall picture of the various ideas and their inter-relationships.

w&t_elephant

I Advise

Depending on your current level of growth, you will find the Walk & Talk process a useful tool:

  • To enhance your understanding of the concepts, skills and tools relevant to your work within a company, your career and in your personal life.
  • As a quick reference guide to refresh your memory about the tools, processes and diagrams as they crop up in your work.
  • As a guide to identify personal training and development needs.

Manage anger signals and respond effectively

Chapter 5 p.9

w&t_question

I Ask

Angry? Me? No! I never get angry, at least I never show it, especially not with customers and colleagues.

Is there anything wrong with that?

w&t_exclamation

I Answer

The issue is not whether you show anger or not, but whether you know how to deal effectively with anger signals. The inability to do so often leads to destructive behavioral patterns and can easily let you end up in a guilt cycle.

What is needed, in Mike Matulovich’s terms, is real Elephant behavior in dealing with anger.

The diagram below contrasts the way in which the Elephant, the Ostrich and the Rhinoceros deal with anger.

w&t_ch5_n_responding_to_anger_signals

Four guidelines to manage anger and respond effectively:

  1. Address the problem.
    • Ask questions in order to obtain information to solve the problem.
    • Re-frame: What else could it mean?
  2. Dissociate from criticism and use a SMART action plan to solve the problem.
  3. Ask yourself what you can learn from this situation.
  4. Then let it go and forgive yourself
w&t_elephant

I Advise

Sounds to me as if some emotional awareness would serve you well in dealing with your anger.

Also remember the Issue Resolution model.